game book

the game book

no clue how long ago i started it
the current book started 12.26.2012
but i had a book prior and lost it along the way 

it is a space i keep the games we play 
the scores
who played
and some of the daily occurrences of our life

as i looked back..... i've kept quite a journal of our life
of the good we've experienced
the stress we've felt 
the love we've shared 

i've kept trivial details 
such as gas prices 
and what we had for dinner 

i've kept BIG feelings
like COVID stress 
and how we dealt with it

this small section 

is what we documented during covid
54 games of euchre

a few games of pinochle 

yatzee whenever mom could convince 

pandemic after given it as a present 

this journal is coming to an end

so very grateful love bought me a new one

to continue

luke asked what will i do with this finished book

i thought for a minute

unsure

and realized

it will go on our bookshelf

it is an important part of our family history

i love i started this tradition so many moons ago

and look forward to reflecting and remembering for years to come

recap 2020

 it started with me deleting pics from google photos 
low on space 

i had been crabby
a bit moany and jealous about some silly things 

wrote a bit
on a big sticky note 
sat alone
pushed away 

realized i needed to pull back in 

refocused myself 
and chose to create fun 

family tetris challenge
and intense scrabble for the four of us

and while i waited, i looked at pictures to open up memory on my phone and ready my game log
reflecting on all that happened over 2020

2020 was a great year for our family
time on our boat--LOTS of time on our boat
swimming swimming swimming 
kayaking, running, fishing, skateboarding, snowboarding, skiing
golfing, games, cooking, baking, laughing 
sour dough starter started..... crackers made, many loaves attempted--starter stopped
drive by birthdays, door drop birthdays, zoom birthdays, outside birthdays
friend time in person when we could--and making it count
family time squeezed in creative ways
big lake fishing 
cancelled vacations but grieving together and finding ways to be happy together
big emotions felt. communication increased. openness shared. 
family appreciated.

and for me personally

growth was great 
moved through some hard shit to focus on the harder shit 
worked a LOT 
realized my own down time has worth
and time with my family is necessary 
left a therapy relationship that needed to end
moved on to a new therapist to empower me
phobias are feeling less substantial are still there but i give them less power
i am using better tools and maybe more importantly with intentionality 
i am building a tool box--using my medications, coloring, reading, writing, talking, letting love love on me and just hold me 
i am working on relaxing. our beautiful space is a catalyst for that--it is easy to relax when what you i love is right in your my own home and yard--my love, the kids, the dog, outdoor space to eat, the water, the boat, the deck, the sun, the snow. it is easy to relax when you i give myself permission to be happy.

i am not perfect. 2020 was not perfect. HOWEVER i am happy. and 2020 was good. we all grow from ALL the moments--the good, the hard, the in between. 

my reflections written into my game log

Nye

 Dinner to even 2020

Cottage fries in the air fryer (sliced potato coins), Hawaiian roll Sammie's, Pretend potato skins in the cottage fries, Hummus, carrots, pea pods..... so snacky and yummy!

pickle chips for snack!