we just don't know

a friend's husband hit his head and had a nasty concussion/memory loss (temporary!) and had to go to the doctor. she was pretty upset and for good reason. while there, the doctor found a spot on his neck that turned out to be cancerous. i said how sorry i was that he was injured and then the cancer was found (which is the "good cancer" and can be treated). her response was that "guess it was a good thing that "s" hit his head, or we might not have found the cancer right away. God works in ways that we don't understand". this is the same friend whose brother committed suicide a few years ago and they did not see it coming at all. her faith is so strong. i am amazed.

yesterday was tom's "36th" birthday. i spent a lot of time thinking about him. our relationship was not great. we had our ups and downs. we were just very different and had a hard time understanding each other. right before he passed away our relationship was improving. i kept (and suppose still keep doing it) questioning WHY did GOD take tom right when we were starting to work things out?!?!? i don't know but as i listened to "k's" conversation about her hubby, i got to thinking, i don't have to know. i have learned to accept tom for who he was and let old things go. i am working on loving him for the person he was, flaws and all. 

i don't know why God works in the ways he does but that is okay. thanks for the lesson "k".

a must read for parents

fabulous reminder :) 

You're not.

If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Carmel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.

I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.

I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.

How could she tell me I wasn't failing?

Yet, I wasn't. 

Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard.

And, in reality, it's 8am and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on facebook and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done {I always tell myself -- different time zones} and we're racing to catch up with this never before except for the last hundred years perfect never feel like you're failing mom ideal that is exhausting.

You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and...and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom. 

You know, you're not failing.

You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday - we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} - we just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.

I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this. 

You can do this.

Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear I'm failing replace it immediately with I can do this. 

If you were across the table from me that is what I would tell you.

And, of course, I'd tell you  do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing twenty or the pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life - and you - you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you. 

Remember that.

You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.

You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.

From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you.

just pages away

jack is just pages away from finishing the 2nd harry potter book! go jack-o go! mom and dad are proud of you almost 2nd grader who turned 7 last week :)

eye see you!

friday we had a check up for jack's eyes. last time we went, his prescription was lessened which means his sight was better but his "working together part of his eyes" might not be better. so yesterday was a check to see how the amblyopia is doing. AND he is great. as long as he wears his classes, he is seeing 20/20 in each eye and most importantly, his eyes are working together! i am proud of our boy for keeping his glasses on all the time--they are helping him :)

what {i} read

dang that jack-o is on a roll! he is a reading machine! he finished the FIRST harry potter book BEFORE his 7th birthday!!! keep on reading big man! we are proud of you :)

pretty girl....wordless wednesday a day late :)

Lucky 7!!!

the birth day
jack thomas boyer
9 lbs 3 oz 

4th birthday morning :)

my grand parents at jack's first birthday party (michigan)
they loved him so much!

opening presents at jack's first birthday party (michigan)

fifth birthday!!!! :) builder man

fifth birthday party--loving his new presents! chloe on the right
christopher on the right

6th birthday party. harry potter. pure bliss!

2nd birthday party!!!! ibm park :) isaac, jack, kyle and andrew

birth day

week 1. first hockey game.

3rd birthday party--first one at our new house back in michigan!

first birthday party--minnesota

3rd birthday--morning

first birthday LATE at night :( hand foot and mouth disease set in. poor miserable baby. all that drool was because the sores in his throat made it hurt too bad to swallow :(

first birthday party--michigan :) on grandma dan's fire truck bubble machine

michigan first birthday party--grandma and pa tractor and cousin ben helping jack open his present

cousin ben loving jack's new present :)

and TODAY is lucky 7 :) we have lots to celebrate--jack is kind, enthusiastic, intelligent, empathetic and just down right sassy (in a great way). here's the first picture of our day :)

it's my birthday. i'll have cake batter for breakfast if i want to :)

it's the small things....

........ like adding herbs :)

tonight i made rice krispy chicken. while the chicken thawed, i added fresh chopped herbs (rosemary and thyme from my garden) to the bag. that's it. nothing else. that made a HUGE difference in the flavor of the chicken--it was wonderfully herby!

NEED
chicken breasts (i like to slice my thin)
herbs (optional)
rice krispies
butter
salt
pepper

DO
dip breasts in butter
dip breasts in krispies
place on a "pam coated" foil lined tray (trust me the foil is well worth the effort)
sprinkle with salt and pepper
drizzle a little more butter on (worth the extra calories... mmmmmmmmmm)
bake 400 degrees until chicken done. watch so krispies do not burn.

enjoy

small town living

i posted the other day about the beauty of the area that we live in. today i am going to post about the beauty of the people who live here. small town living at its best--i called the bowling alley because it is pouring down rain inquiring about what hours they had for open bowling today. the fella said they are only open on wednesdays right now during the day but he was there cleaning so i was more than welcome  to come and bowl!!!! he let us in and the boys and i bowled a few games! the fella was so kind to us and even helped get luke's "stuck ball" unstuck a few times. oh i am grateful we had something to do on this very rainy day!

i have a thank you note ready to be put into the mail as a way to let the fella know how much we appreciated his kindness today. i am grateful to live in such a small community where people are so kind.

meals for the week

saturday: chilli dogs, chips, applesauce (and tasty)

sunday: barley mushroom soup (recipe below)--new one! MMMMMMMMMM

monday: Rice Krispie Chicken

tuesday: tb works an entire day--enchailadas ready to throw in the oven,  tortilla chips and guac (ham for boys)

wednesday: jack turns 7! his pick!

thursday: ribs, baked potatoes, salad

friday:  out (appointment for Jack-O)

saturday: Kielbasa, wild rice and fruit

sunday: jack's birthday party


barley mushroom soup

NEED:
mushrooms (at least 16 oz)
carrots (diced...1 cup or so)
celery  (diced...1 cup or so)
onion (diced...1 cup or so)
garlic (some)
shallots (my addition)
broth (four cups)
white wine (my addition)
salt
pepper
water
beef boulion (the good stuff)
tomato paste (3 TBSP)
butter (1 TBSP)

quick cook barley

DO:
saute carrots, celery, and onion in butter (3 min)
add mushrooms, shallots and garlic. three more min of medium high
add 1/2 cup of wine..... or so.... and drink 2 glasses
simmer a few more minutes
add tomato paste, 1 cup water, 2 "spoons" of beef boulion base, and the veggie broth
bring to boil
add 1 cup barley

boil until barley is consistency you like.



MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM



Rice Krispy Chicken

NEED:
chicken breasts (i like to flatten my out a bit)
butter (to dip breasts in)
rice kripies

DO:
dip breasts in butter
dip into rice kripies
 put onto a tin foil covered sheet that has been "pammed"

bake until done

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

mushroom barley soup

new recipe

NEED:
mushrooms (at least 16 oz)
carrots (diced...1 cup or so)
celery  (diced...1 cup or so)
onion (diced...1 cup or so)
garlic (some)
shallots (my addition)
broth (four cups)
white wine (my addition)
salt
pepper
water
beef boulion (the good stuff)
tomato paste (3 TBSP)
butter (1 TBSP)

quick cook barley

DO:
saute carrots, celery, and onion in butter (3 min)
add mushrooms, shallots and garlic. three more min of medium high
add 1/2 cup of wine..... or so.... and drink 2 glasses
simmer a few more minutes
add tomato paste, 1 cup water, 2 "spoons" of beef boulion base, and the veggie broth
bring to boil
add 1 cup barley

boil until barley is consistency you like.



MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

beauty

the more time i spend outside with my young whipper snappers and our pup, the more i realize the beauty of the area we live in. man are we lucky! there are families who do not have rivers close by to walk and bike along. there are folks who do not know the smell of fresh clean air. there are people who do not know the beauty of a sunrise or sunset over a farmer's field. we are blessed with God's beauty all around us.

here are a few pictures that inspired my thoughts today:

summer fun at Anderson and Girls Orchard

...... tough moments

today we had a LOT of tough moments. i am not sure if it is the age jack-o is or the time of year (transitioning back to work for me/school for him) but whatever it is, it made for a tough day.

the battle of the wills was strong today. jack's will. my will. josh's will. right at bed tonight, he was rude to josh, and rolled his eyes when i asked him to apologize to his dad. oh that was about all we could handle after today. in jack's words, "i was so good and then so not good all day long." we left his room calmly (while boiling inside) and told him he would talk about it tomorrow. it breaks my mama heart to hear him downstairs crying. i want to go down there so darn bad but josh says hold out. josh says we need to let him cry it out and work through his own internal battles. i know josh is right and jack needs to work this out....... but OH IT IS SO HARD for me!!!!

josh and i wrote up what jack did today and what discipline we are going to give him. jack will lose a privilege, an extra chore to do and he has to write each of us a letter of apology.

being a mom is tough.

meals

sunday {today}-- out for mexican

monday: cast iron faijitas on the grill and cilantro lime rice

tuesday: farm for tacos

wednesday: grilled pot roast, mashed potatoes, fresh green beans from the pumpkin lady

thursday: kielbasa, wild rice and fruit or veggies

friday:crash hot potatoes, steak with bourbon mushrooms

saturday: backyard camp out

sunday:.............

big changes...gulp! BOSS :)

i got called boss lady the other day................ crazy talk! i am technically the boss now :) i have accepted a position at my current district as part time teacher consultant at the hs and part time special education director. :) send some prayers my way as my learning curve is HUGE!

fungal issues

who has heard of fungus in your EAR? what in the tarnations?!?! poor jack has just that! he'd been complaining for a few days of having some ear pain....so we did what we always do, give him antibiotic drops and wait a few days. when the drops did not help, off to our wonderful ent we went. 

jack does not mind the actual doctor but he HATES {yes i know that is a strong word....and it fits} in office procedures! having his ear(s) aspirated is NOT anywhere on his list of items he tolerates well. in the past, ear procedures usually involved one (or both) parent(s) holding him down along with a nurse or TWO, and lots of screaming from jack. in fact the last visit i think he traumatized a resident doctor..... :)

so on friday we were already in grand rapids running a few errands and on our way to f.m. gardens for an afternoon of fun when the ent asked us to come on in. turned out jack had an ear full of fungus! yes i agree..... eeeewwwwwww. poor kid had to have it aspirated out and that took a LONG time....like 20 minutes. poor buddy! but i do have to BRAG, this is the best jack has ever done! he cried/screamed for about five minutes but then calmed down as i whispered loving things to him and told him to squeeze me tight. i was {and still am} so darn proud of him!!!! way to go jack. doc k got it all out and then after deciding that we would not be finding the anti-fungal drops we need, he put a steroid plus anti-fungal ointment into jack's ear. we have followed up with anti-biotic drops to prevent infection.

jack was so awesome at his appointment so i gave him a choice of activity for the afternoon--f.m. gardens, craigs cruisers, etc. he chose craig's cruisers (what almost 7 year old wouldn't). so this mama hiked up her strapless dress and played the afternoon away with jack and luke--bumper cars, lazer tag {first time and SO MUCH FUN--boys earned TONS of points with the help of the sweet girl working the tag}, arcade games, go karts {first time jack got to drive his own!!!!!} and of course novelty toys! oh so fun!!!!

i am proud of jack. he has been through a lot of junk with his ears and this was the best he has ever done!!! unfortunately the holes from his tubes are not healed up yet so in march decisions will have to be made about the holes. we may have to do a skin graft to patch them. time will tell.

again......

schedule. oh this time of year gets my panties all in a ruffle. i do not like transition....changes.....moving from the known to the unknown. and i know i blog this same blog every year. yet here it is again! i think this time is is harder for me than other years. for starters i have had a FABULOUS summer--tons of summer family time, lots of traveling, lots of weddings, great time with friends, tasty food, and just lots and lots and lots of fun. i feel like i just got used to being a sahm (stay at home mom) and now it is time to go back. on top of that, i have a new job (see another post) and that means that the schedule is not set.....and that is hard for me. i have this week lined up but that is it and that is REALLY hard for me. on top of that, i started back part time last week (first week in august) instead of the last week of august....and that makes me feel just a bit jipped on time :)

well i can move on now. right? i have written it down. i have accepted it. the boys are in good hands. i can move on and let go of the control issue. thanks for listening.

family time

there is nothing i treasure more than family time. tonight the boys and i went down to the local church to bike/walk in the parking lot. even max tagged along.  as the boys were biking around the lot, jack called luke and i over to him. i asked jack what he needed and he said he had something cool to show us. i again asked what it was, luke's response was, "who cares! i am sure it is something awesome!" 

i love my boys. i love family time :)

you only turn 40 once....

our lovely friend jwk and her hubby both are turning 40 this year--one a few months ago and the in a few months. they had a spectacular birthday celebration last night where we were able to gather with old and new friends!

josh and fbi ellen

birthday girl girl and her boa :)

what a good uncle

cousins

luke (5), jack (ALMOST 7), owen (18 months)

pretty girl

Before 

 NOW