Friday, May 13, 2016
just jealous
i have a characteristic about myself i hate.
jealousy.
my birthday does not help.
not a great day for me.
not sure why.
i am not worthy.
not loved?
luke says that since i am an amazing mom and am great that i deserve to be celebrated.
wise words from an almost 9 year old.
why am i jealous that "XYZ" is a better blogger. or has a nicer house. or is a better writer. or is loved more by HER mom.
why am i jealous that HER mom shared to the world that she is talented. XYZ is talented. she's amazing. she's thoughtful. she's a great writer. she decorates beautifully. she is a perfect stay at home mom full of grace. non one shouts to the world my strengths. no one sings the greatness of me. do they need to? i hear it daily. from my amazing husband. from my boys. heck even from colleagues. why do i need to feel or hear validation. why can't i figure out that DAMN IT I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I AM GREAT. bleh. perhaps.
jealousy sucks. it pulls the life energy from me. so much easier to avoid XYZ. however, not possible.
can i let go? can i be loving or at least pleasant? i think i appear to have it all together--perhaps others think "man that girl has got it all--an amazing career, an incredible family, a good house, a cool dog, awesome everything".
perhaps.
how do i let it go?
jealousy.
my birthday does not help.
not a great day for me.
not sure why.
i am not worthy.
not loved?
luke says that since i am an amazing mom and am great that i deserve to be celebrated.
wise words from an almost 9 year old.
why am i jealous that "XYZ" is a better blogger. or has a nicer house. or is a better writer. or is loved more by HER mom.
why am i jealous that HER mom shared to the world that she is talented. XYZ is talented. she's amazing. she's thoughtful. she's a great writer. she decorates beautifully. she is a perfect stay at home mom full of grace. non one shouts to the world my strengths. no one sings the greatness of me. do they need to? i hear it daily. from my amazing husband. from my boys. heck even from colleagues. why do i need to feel or hear validation. why can't i figure out that DAMN IT I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I AM GREAT. bleh. perhaps.
jealousy sucks. it pulls the life energy from me. so much easier to avoid XYZ. however, not possible.
can i let go? can i be loving or at least pleasant? i think i appear to have it all together--perhaps others think "man that girl has got it all--an amazing career, an incredible family, a good house, a cool dog, awesome everything".
perhaps.
how do i let it go?
healthy choices
On the eve of my 36th birthday, I thought I'd share that I am healthier than I've been in YEARS. I'm strong as an ox. I am "kind of flexible". I am down 30 lbs since the end of December. I am GRATEFUL to my support--Josh, Swanson, Abby.
here's to health!
here's to health!
a-lei-a
a-lei-a
do do do do dooo do
dooo dooo doo do do
do do do do dooo do
dooo dooo doo do do
doooo dooo doo do do!
A-LEI-A
yes luke was singing that.....
i did not correct him to tequila
i'll let him be sweet and innocent for a bit longer
do do do do dooo do
dooo dooo doo do do
do do do do dooo do
dooo dooo doo do do
doooo dooo doo do do!
A-LEI-A
yes luke was singing that.....
i did not correct him to tequila
i'll let him be sweet and innocent for a bit longer
may
It's May. That means the start of Birthday season, the middle of CRAZY School Administrator season, the thick of soccer season, the end of spring hockey season, the start of "oh shoot, we better mow" season, the beginning of OOOOH It's light out so we should play outside until it is late season. It's amazing how many emotions one can feel in a week.
....poop stain...
yes you read that right!!!!!
oh mylyanta.
my boys created a game for the trampoline with kaden at least a few years ago.... poop stain
and today even at almost 9 and almost 11 they continue to play it! ha!
something about a sock, swipe, grab, jump.
i giggle every time they talk about poop stain!
oh mylyanta.
my boys created a game for the trampoline with kaden at least a few years ago.... poop stain
and today even at almost 9 and almost 11 they continue to play it! ha!
something about a sock, swipe, grab, jump.
i giggle every time they talk about poop stain!
oh my....
holy makes it is may 13...and tomorrow i will be 36.
i can't believe....
lots of things
that i'll be 36
that i have not blogged in forever
that i have been an administrator four years worth
that i have a house, a home, two amazing kids, a dog, a mini-van, a truck, yada yada yada
i can't believe
i can't believe....
lots of things
that i'll be 36
that i have not blogged in forever
that i have been an administrator four years worth
that i have a house, a home, two amazing kids, a dog, a mini-van, a truck, yada yada yada
i can't believe
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